


dreams that cannot be

by justyncase



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Bisexual!Grantaire, F/M, Gay!Enjolras, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I wrote this instead of studying, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Multi, Other, Pregnancy, Self-Indulgent, Teen Pregnancy, Trans!Eponine, Unplanned Pregnancy, absuive!Montparnasse, and grantaire is fish, enjolras is price, eponine is me, genderfluid!Eponine, trans!Enjolras, trans!gavroche
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-09-16
Packaged: 2019-10-13 03:01:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17479958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justyncase/pseuds/justyncase
Summary: Eponine is going through shit and Grantaire is a very good friend (so is Enjolras...)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> welcome to a multi-fic thing with me being a meme.  
> but this has been running through my mind for a few days and i wrote it. thanks to my friend for listening to me rant about this (especially R & Ep's platonic relationship)
> 
> -justyn

Eponine didn’t know what to think of it. This had never happened with anyone else. What were they supposed to do? Tell him? Tell their parents? Deal with it before anyone finds out? This was all so confusing. _Phone. Where’s my phone?_ They thought. Calling a friend who had been in almost this exact position seemed to be a good way to go.

“Hey ‘Ponine, what’s up?” his voice was weirdly sober… or maybe she was too scatterbrained to remember what his voice currently sounded like. “Ep, what’s wrong?”

“I… something happened and I can’t- don’t want to tell you over the phone.” Eponine responded.

“Okay… I’ll come pick you up then. Where are you?” there was concern in his voice.

“I’m at home. Currently there’s no one else here, thank God. I um, yeah. You’re not drunk, right?”

“Of course not! I have a kid. I can’t just go around drunk anymore. I’m not the same person I was in high school-”

“Calm down, R. I was just asking.” Eponine sighed.

“Okay. I’ll be at your place in like… ten minutes. Hang in there, okay?” Grantaire said, the sound of keys on his end of the line.

Eponine got a bag together. Their wallet, keys, a change of clothes, toiletries, phone charger. The usual things they didn’t leave home without. Soon enough ten minutes passed and Grantaire was outside. Eponine left their house, locking the door. Were they worried that something would happen while they were gone? Of course but they needed the comfort of one of their best friends.

“Hey R.” Eponine said, getting into the man’s car.

“Hey ‘Ponine. So what’s up?” Grantaire said, glancing at his friend. He began driving despite the silence. Knowing Ep, they would wait until they weren’t at home to say anything.

“So uh… you know my ‘boyfriend’?” Ep started.

“You mean Montparnasse, the asshole that all of your friends, especially me, want to beat up? Because yes. I know him”

“I don’t appreciate your tone, but yes. Of course I mean Montparnasse. Anyways, something happened and I don’t know what to do.”

“What did he do to you Eponine?” He pulled into a parking lot so they could actually have a conversation.

“It’s nothing like that, for once. I… he… I don’t know how to say this. I just, I can’t.”

“Eponine, can you breathe with me?” Grantaire asked the small person who was slowly falling into the pit of having a panic attack.

“Maybe? I just, I’m too young for this. Especially with how much I lack responsibility and have no money I just…” Eponine sputtered.

“Wait ‘Ponine, are you…?” Grantaire’s voice drifted off, his face filled with fear.

“Yeah,” they shook their head beginning to break down in tears, “I am.”

“Oh my God, I am going to break that asshole’s-”

“No! He can’t know, or at least he doesn’t yet. You’re the only person that knows, R.” Eponine cut him off.

“Okay sorry… so what are you going to do? And do not take that as you need to know right now. Cause Enjolras sure as hell didn’t know. But-”

“But he didn’t have a boyfriend that none of his friends agreed with?”

“I was gonna say his boyfriend wasn’t a piece of shit but that works too.”

Eponine sighed. They hated this. They knew that there were only two ways for this to go, IF they told their parents. Either, they would be overjoyed or they would get kicked out because she wasn’t responsible enough.

“Have you eaten today?” Grantaire said after a few minutes.

“I’ve had an apple and a piece of toast.” Okay more than usual but now they were pregnant so he was having them eat more.

“So what do you want to eat then?”

“I’m fine right now. I really just want to not go back to my parents at the moment.”

“That is completely valid and fair. Well, we could go to my place, your brother is babysitting Alex so if you want to go see them or we could try and see a movie or… I don’t know.” R tried to help but this was very different from when Enjolras got pregnant.

“I don’t want to see Gav, he notices when he gets home if something is wrong so… not great. Where’s Apollo at the moment?” Ep loved their younger brother but sometimes it came apparent that he knew them all too well.

“Work, but he gets off in an hour if you want to talk this out with him.”

“Yeah… that would be great. He was in a similarish place so… I think that would be good. Maybe…” Ep put their head into their hands. They wanted to cry again but it would hurt too much.

“I think it would help you understand. But first, we should get some food. Does McDonalds sound good?”

“I guess…”

R put the radio on quietly and began to drive to the nearest McDonalds. He wouldn’t ever tell Ep, but he wasn’t sure it would be okay.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eponine turns to Enjolras about their new found pregnancy and what they should do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for how long this took to write !!
> 
> anyways,,, i feel like r & 'ponine are in a qpr (queer platonic relationship) and i am trying v hard to figure out if ep is acearo or just ace aaaa
> 
> -mckinley

Grantaire was nervous to have his best friend and his boyfriend discussing pregnancy. It was weird enough the first time. After R and Eponine’s lunch trip to McDonald’s, he drove them to the three bedroom apartment that Grantaire, Enjolras, and their two year old son lived in. Gavroche was still at the apartment. Enjolras was also there drinking some tea and talking with the small boy. It was made apparent that Alex was napping. 

 

“Gav, are you sure your binder is fitting okay? Cause I have no problem getting you a new one if it-”

 

“Apollo, it’s fine. Really! It fits great and it does not hurt my chest at all!” Gavroche replied. It was then that Grantaire and Eponine walked into the apartment.

 

“Hey you two, what’s going on in here?” Grantaire said, making the two aware that more humans had walked inside. 

 

“Nothing much, just chatting about... stuff.” Gavroche replied. 

 

“Sounds fun. Eponine wanted to come over and I was in the neighbourhood to pick her up so… here we are!” Grantaire said, gesturing to the person beside him. 

 

Eponine walked inside the apartment, sitting beside Enjolras. They came over enough that it wasn’t weird. Especially when they routinely picked up their brother. 

 

“Ep what’s wrong?” Gavroche noted. His sibling was acting weird. There was a weird energy to them.

 

“Told you, R. Anyways… I don’t know if I’m ready to tell what’s wrong, Gav. Especially because Azelma and mom and dad can’t know.” the older sibling replied, pulling their legs up onto the couch. 

 

“And Montparnasse.” Grantaire added at the end.

 

“Yeah… Az, mom, dad, and Mont.” Eponine repeated.

 

“‘Ponine… I thought we didn’t have secrets…”

 

“Gav, I don’t want to keep secrets from you but… this is a circumstance where I must. At least for now, okay?”

 

“I… fine. But you’ll tell me soon right?” Gav said, he had to know.

 

“As soon as I can. I promise.” Eponine smiled. Their younger brother was going to know eventually. 

 

“Anyways Gav, would you be okay watching TV out here while the three of us discuss something in the kitchen?” Grantaire changed the subject. He was fantastic at that. 

 

“Yeah. I do wanna get home before dinner though. Please keep that in mind.” Gav answered the older man.

 

“Of course, youngling.” 

 

Enjolras and Eponine stood up and walked into the kitchen. Grantaire poured himself and Eponine both a glass of cranberry juice, Enjolras continued to sip at his warm tea. Eponine sat on one of the stools. The second they had turned away from their brother, their face turned to fear. 

 

“So Ep, what did you want to talk about?” Enjolras asked after a few minutes of silence (minus the TV in the background.). 

 

“I um, so you know Montparnasse?” Ep bit their lip.

 

“Your dickwad of a boyfriend? I’m familiar with him.” Enjolras replied before sipping some tea.

 

“Well he and I- we- sacre bleu. Why is this so hard to say?” Eponine scattered.

 

“Ep, deep breaths, okay?” Grantaire cut in. 

 

“Yeah,” they took a few deep breaths before continuing, “okay, so I am well aware of my boyfriend being kind of an asshole and trust me I am so thankful that I have friends that pointed it out to me that he was an asshole. But-”

 

“Eponine if the next words to come out of your mouth are that you are getting married, I may have to go kill him.” Enjolras explained.

 

“Well it’s not that! I would never agree to marry him. But I um… I may or may not be pregnant with his kid.” Eponine mumbled. 

 

“You what?!” Enjolras yelled. “Eponine how could you let that transphobic piece of shit-”

 

“Love! It is not their fault and you know it! I really would rather not think of the implications of what  _ he  _ did to  _ them  _ but I think we both know that they did not want to be having a kid, especially his.” R told his partner off. Of course he did it in a quiet voice so Gavroche couldn’t hear. 

 

“Yeah. You’re right. I’m sorry, I just… wow. So you found out today I guess?” Enjolras asked.

 

“Yep… I don’t know what to do cause like… I never planned on being a parent and I’m still in high school but now I’m responsible for a whole other person. Not to mention their father is someone I don’t like and I just- everything feels so fucked up.” Eponine broke down into tears. They actually hated crying, especially in front of their friends but here they were. 

 

Enjolras placed his tea down and hugged the small person. He wasn’t usually one for showing affection but this was different. His friend was crying and he needed to be there to comfort her. Eponine returned the embrace, clutching the front of his shirt to pull him closer. 

 

“It’ll be okay, ‘Ponine. I promise. R and I will both be here to support you in whatever decision you make, okay?” Enjolras sighed in a calming voice.

 

“Oh- okay.” Eponine exhaled. “Enj, how did you deal with being pregnant? If you want to talk about it.” 

 

“I don’t mind talking about it, especially if it will help you. So, I knew that I wanted a kid. Grantaire wasn’t sure if he did but after we had been together for a few months, he wanted to have a kid. We both decided that it would be better to wait until after high school, maybe even after college. Of course, as you know, that didn’t exactly happen. Thankfully it wasn’t too hard to go through with exams with being pregnant. I do not regret my choice though. Alex is a fantastic little human and I love him so much. Ep, I just- if you decide to keep them, all of us will help.” Enjolras explained. 

 

“Okay. Thank you so much.” Eponine sighed. “Gav and I should probably start heading home. Az got home about fifteen minutes ago and it makes me nervous when they’re home alone.” 

 

Eponine stood up exhaling heavily. Grantaire placed his hand on their shoulder. “Do you want me to drive you home? Cause I’m sure our dear Apollo wants some time to himself.” 

 

“I would decline but I have a feeling that you won’t take no for an answer.”   Eponine laughed.

 

“You would be correct.” 

 

Eponine walked into the living room where Gavroche was doing some homework while a TV show played in the background. They sat beside the young boy. 

 

“Hey Gav, you ready to leave?” the small person asked. 

 

Eponine and Gavroche’s relationship was an odd one. The two very much looked after each other. Their parents were kind of assholes. Eponine, Azemla, and Gavroche all looked after each other. Eponine wanted nothing more than to move out, get custody over her younger siblings and take them far away from the cold and terrible world that was the Thenardier’s. The older they got, the harder it looked for the three to live happily ever. 

 

“Hm?” Gavroche asked, turning his head, breaking out of hyperfixation. Eponine smiled, rolling their eyes. 

 

“You ready to go?” 

 

“Yeah… ‘Ponine, are you okay?” 

 

“Fine.” Eponine smiled, standing up. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aLsO don't forget to scream at me abt my fic on tumblr @mckpricely


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eponine goes home to an odd conundrum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i haven't updated in literal years !!! whoops !!!i have had rehearsal all the hecking time. and i am having my second eating disorder scare sO fun times.   
> follow my tumblr to yell at me about this fic: mckpricely.
> 
> -mckinley

“Thanks for the ride, R.” Eponine sighed getting out of their friend’s car. 

 

“Of course! Be safe, okay?”

 

Gavroche got out of the car, walking behind his older sibling. 

 

“We will be. I’ll message you if I really need anything. Okay?” Eponine sighed. 

 

“...Okay.” Grantaire replied. He waited until Eponine and Gavroche were inside the building to start driving away. 

 

Eponine’s heart was speeding up as they neared the door. Gavroche took his sibling’s hand trying to comfort them. They opened the door to see the house cleaner than usual. That should’ve been the first warning shot for both of them, but especially Eponine.

 

“Gabrielle, Eponine there you are! We’ve been worried sick.” the twos mother said as they entered the family room. Gabrielle was Gavroche’s deadname. Living at home, it wasn’t exactly safe for him to be out. 

 

“Sorry, we just went to the library. Gab had some homework to do and I thought the library would’ve been a better place to go.” Eponine explained.

 

“Well you should’ve brought Azemla with you! You also should’ve told me but oh well. If I’m not that important than I suppose it doesn’t matter. Anyways, how was the library?” 

 

“It was fine. I got a paper finished while we were there.”  _ Fuck.  _ Eponine had entirely forgotten that they actually had a paper due on Monday. 

 

“Gabrielle? You’re oftly quiet today. How was your trip to the library?”

 

“Sorry mum. It was great. Got all of my maths stuff done and finished my workbook on the Spanish Inquisition. Just pretty tired. Four hours of homework is a lot.” Gavroche stated.   
  


“Eponine! Did you not let her have breaks?” 

 

“No I did, mum. It was closer to two and a half. Could I please go to the bathroom?” Eponine asked, trying desperately to not be having this conversation. 

 

“Of course. Don’t make a mess of it though. I worked very hard to clean it.” 

 

Mrs. Thenardier was an odd woman. She often was seen treating her children with the same respect as her employees. She questioned her daughters harshly, knowing plot holes meant the truth and stories that connected perfectly meant they were lying. However everyone, even her kids would agree that she was better than her husband. 

 

Eponine excused themself from the conversation walking into the bathroom near her room sighing. They locked the door and sat on the toilet. Did she know? Cause that was the vibe they were getting. If their mother knew, Eponine would probably be thrown out. Maybe they wouldn’t. Through the locked door, muffled voices that were easily recognizable as their mother, Gavroche, and Montparnasse were speaking. There wasn’t very much to really study from their conversation. 

 

The young adult exited the bathroom and went into their room to take off their jacket which they hung behind the door before walking back to the family room. 

“Oh Eponine, we were just discussing Gabrielle and Azemla’s school performance. How is yours going? Your father and I haven’t heard very much.” Mrs. Thenardier asked upon her eldest re-entering the room. 

 

“Oh um, it is going fine, mum. I’m getting at least 75% average in all of my classes, the thing setting me back is an essay that was edited poorly. Which I got 79% on. So… yeah.” Eponine breathed out. “I need to go back to the bathroom, mum, if that’s okay?” The brown haired person was just hit by a sudden wave of nausea. 

 

“Well yes, but you were just in there?” 

 

“I know I just…” Eponine took a few steps backwards and went into the bathroom. 

 

They sat in front of the toilet, periodically emptying out everything they ate at Enj and R’s. This was a five minutes of peace before there was thumping on the door and a low voice yelling at them that was all too familiar. The sick one got up slowly, unlocked the door, and opened it. 

 

“Hello father. How are you?” 

 

“Wondering what to do with my knocked up daughter. How could you let this happen, Eponine? Why don’t you ever think?” the older man had grabbed Eponine’s wrist before they could shut the door. 

 

“I don’t know. I just really don’t know. I’m sorry sir.” Eponine looked down, not able to bear the look in his eyes. 

 

“Get out.” 

 

“Sir-”

 

“Out.” 

 

Eponine quickly moved under his arms to their room, grabbed their bag and ran outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have fun with that cliffhanger until i stop procratinating on hurting my babies ;)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eponine seeks refuge from a friend. Enjolras is adamant to be a good friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> w o w. look at me updating a full month later. wHOOPS aNYWAYS. hope y'all enjoy this chapter where we actually get to the main plot. khfdhghgfh i love that for me.

Eponine was crying. Acceptable. They had every right to cry to their heart’s content. They had run for ten, twenty minutes before slowing down. This was not an area of town to be wondering around after dark in. When they had to stop, Eponine took a few deep breaths before searching through their bag.  _ Phone. Phone. Earbuds, earbuds.  _ It took a few minutes to find them. They plugged the earbuds in and called R.

 

“Eponine? What’s wrong?” a beat. The only thing heard from Eponine’s side of the call was panting and tears. “Ep. Breathe. What’s wrong?” 

 

“My parents- they- I. Fuck. I can’t do this, R. I’m not ready.” Eponine was having a panic attack. Everything was so much. 

 

“It’s okay. ‘Ponine we’ll figure it out together. Where are you?  Do you know?” 

 

“Y-yeah. I kinda, yeah.” Eponine gave him the address, needing to stop and restart their sentence quite a few times.

 

In a few minutes, Grantaire was there in the vehicle ready to pick up a crying ‘Ponine. They shoveled into the car and wiped away tears. They sat there just crying into their knees for what seemed like forever. Eventually Grantaire pulled into the parking lot of the apartment building. He pulled the keys out of the car and they just sat together for a bit. This was not the first time Eponine had to find refuge at R and Enjolras’ house. But this was the first time ‘Ponine wasn’t sure if she would be going home. 

 

“Ep, do you wanna go upstairs? I think you need some tea and a safe place to sleep.” Grantaire spoke softly, muttering into the shorter person’s shoulder. 

 

“I don’t know. Does Enj know what happened?” Eponine muttered. Their words were barely audible.

 

“Not really. I said I had to go pick you up. He probably assumed I meant from a party or it’s another one night. I didn’t-”

 

“Okay… okay. Fuck I’m scared, R. I’m not ready to be an adult. Be in charge of another person’s life.”

 

“I know. Can we please go? It’s getting pretty cold for us to stay here…” 

 

“Y-yeah. Sorry. You’re a great friend, you know that?” Eponine sighed opening the door to get out of the car.

 

The two got out and walked around to the elevator. They talked about anything except the kid and Eponine being kicked out. It hurt too much. The two discussed exams and art and music. Which was odd because the ride up wasn’t all that long. However they figured it out. Upon entering the apartment, Enjolras was sitting at the kitchen island with two cups of tea ready for R and Eponine. He was drinking his own and reading a copy of  _ The Picture of Dorian Gray _ to keep himself occupied. 

 

“Ep? Babe? Are you guys back?” Enjolras called quietly from the kitchen. The only sound in the apartment between all of the silence was a quiet Mozart CD, coming from Alex’s room. 

 

“Yes Apollo, we’re back.” R announced coming into the room. He kissed Enjolras on the cheek, sitting beside him. 

 

“Ep, are you okay? It is completely fine if you don’t-” 

 

“No, it’s fine. I’m… coping. Is it okay if I stay here for a bit? Just for a little bit. I’ll be out of here as soon as possible.” Eponine scattered. 

 

“‘Ponine, don’t be silly, you can stay here as long as you want or need. If that is until after you have that kid, then that’s how long it is.” Grantaire told his friend. Eponine hated feeling like a burden. Especially on her best friend. Eponine was the one to really help R with his alcohol addiction in highschool… and his smoking problem. Now, he rarely drank and only smoked about two or three times a day at most. Eponine never expected for him to be helping her with a problem so similar. Except having a kid was a little different than having an addiction. Whatever, still. 

 

“I just don’t want to be a burden on you guys. You have more than enough to worry about. I shouldn’t be one of those things.” 

 

“Eponine. We cannot force you to take everything we offer. But you will be staying on… our couch at least until you can get on your feet. Okay? Now, I will go get your bedding and make the couch up. You will be drinking your tea.” Enjolras went on. He usually did that. A lot. 

 

Eponine opened their mouth to disagree, but there was no point. They would lose. 

 

In ten minutes, Eponine’s bed was finished, they were fairly calm. Five minutes later, laying on the couch with an almost finished tea on the coffee table. Their head laying in Grantaire’s lap while he pet their hair. In twenty minutes, Eponine was asleep under a two blankets. Enjolras and Grantaire were in their bed, discussing what to do about their small friend fast asleep on the couch. Eponine was a great person but they would never take help. They would need to learn to eventually.  The couple would soon find themselves asleep too.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come yell at me about my fic: @mckpricely on tumblr


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eponine, Grantaire, and Enjolras have a talk (finally).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello !! i am so sorry for abandoning this pretty much all summer. i'm not really proud of how little i have written for this chapter but its something i guess. i really really really hope that i can get more done for this !! i still really want to write this !!!
> 
> -justyn/ares/mckinley

Eponine woke up at about 9:30 am the following morning. They looked around the room to see the bright sun through the closed curtains. They slowly sat up. Eponine took a huge yawn before standing up and heading to the bathroom. They looked at themself in the mirror.  _ Wow, I really look bad, huh?  _ They thought. Eponine had fairly prominent eye bags, extremely messy hair, and their clothes were slightly tattered. They walked back into the living room. Eponine sat back on the couch and just sat for a moment before holding their head in their hands. 

 

Eponine was so far in their thoughts that they hadn’t even realized that Grantaire and Enjolras had exited their bedroom and began making breakfast. Eponine came out of the daze they were stuck in and heard the coffee machine going. They turned around. “Morning, boys.”

 

“Morning Ep.” Grantaire smiled, rolling his eyes. 

 

Eponine pulled a black hoodie over their head, putting it on. They walked over to the island where the two boys were standing. 

 

“Thanks again guys for-“ Eponine started only to be cutoff by Enjolras. 

 

“‘Ponine, if I hear you thank us again, I’m going to lose it. You don’t have to thank us, you’re family. And family helps family.” the older man sighed. 

 

“Okay, sorry. I just- I feel bad for, I don’t know.” They sat on one of the stools, glancing up at the two men. 

 

“Now here’s some coffee, I’ll make some breakfast, and then we’ll figure this all out.” Enjolras smiled. 

 

~-~   
  


After a few cups of coffee, and a few rounds of nausea, the three young adults were finally talking. Alex had been picked up by Courfeyac, so that was one less thing to worry about. 

 

Eponine was sitting on the chair just left to the couch, their feet on the chair and sitting with their back to one of the arms. Grantaire and Enjolras were sitting on the couch. They had tea in front of all of them. 

 

“So…” Eponine started after ten minutes of them sitting in silence. 

 

“Eponine, you are more than welcome to stay here, if you wish. We would never just kick you to the curb. But I don’t want you feeling bad for letting you stay here. You just- you have to be safe and healthy. Especially being in your position, we’re not going to let you just live on the streets. Okay?” Enjolras said. He was always quite good with words.

 

“Okay. If I stay here, would I just sleep on the couch? Cause that is fine by me! Close to the bathroom and everything.”

 

“Ponine, don’t be silly, we have a guest room! You would stay in there.” Grantaire laughed.

 

“I- okay. Fine. You both are going to fight me until I can’t fight anymore so… fine.”

 

“Ah good. Now you look like you need a nap, so just lay down on the couch and we’ll move you into the guest bedroom when you wake up. Okay?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reminder: feel free to message me/send me an ask on tumblr about this fic on tumblr @mckpricely


End file.
